Essay #4 - In Class Contrast Essay

Essay #4 - In Class Contrast Essay

Roads

Life is full of roads.  Some are actual, visible roads, like the road I drive on to go to town or to anywhere.  Others are inside and invisible, choices made as life takes its own twists and turns – decisions made when cross-sections appear, sometimes out of nowhere.  In my own life, I can think of one major decision that changed my life forever.  A choice I made 30 years ago, one I have never, ever regretted.  That choice was to finally give up, give in, and give my heart and life to Jesus Christ.  I don’t want to go into all the details of that decision.  That in itself would make more than another essay.  But, looking back, I can see the changes it made in my life, and I can only imagine what my life would be like now had I decided differently.

The biggest difference that decision made is simply in my general outlook.  Before, I lived life for myself.  I was part of the hippie generation, which in many ways was a selfish generation.  Sure, I was raised with good, Catholic morals, but I had thrown the baby out with the wash water and was starting all over with nothing, re-inventing the wheel as I was deciding for myself what was right and wrong for me.  And I’ll admit, many of those decisions weren’t thought through, and I’ve had to pay the consequences for them.  Becoming a Christian gave me a new focus.  It wasn’t all about me.  It wasn’t all about now.  It was more than a “higher power.”  It was about a person, Jesus Christ, who loved me so much He took my punishment for all the things I ever did wrong or ever would do wrong.  Wow!  I love my kids now more than life itself.  Could I ever let one of them die for someone like me?  I don’t think so.  Yet God sent His son, his only, only son to do that.  That sort of love is more than unselfish, it’s beyond my comprehension.  And the Bible, instead of being a rulebook by some sadistic fun-robbing god, became an instruction manual written by the master mechanic who loves his creation and wants everything to run smoothly so that the vehicle He so lovingly created will just purr along in life, getting good mileage, without breakdowns, without running out of oil or gas, doing what it was meant to do in the best way possible for as long as possible.

That big turn in the road brought about smaller turns as I made new decisions with a different focus.  It’s hard to explain, but it’s something like looking at life through a filter, a Jesus filter.  Instead of focusing on me, myself, and I; instead of thinking of what I want and what’s best for me, I started to think of what Jesus wants, of what he thinks I should do.  For example, I’ve been married now for 38 years.  I don’t know of any of my non-Christian friends who were married when I became a Christian that are still married now.  Marriage can be hard work.  Often it seems easier to give up and start all over.  But that’s not God’s way, and if we’re willing, He helps mend fences, and strengthens the weak spots, and builds bridges.  The choices I now make, I try to make through that Jesus filter.  I’ll be the first admit, it doesn’t always work.  My selfishness gets in the way.  And that’s when the gas runs out, the oil starts to burn, and the clutch starts to go.  Oops…

The last change which is still evolving is my path to the future.  Instead of thinking about what I want to do from now until the day I die, I think about how He wants me to use my time.  The funny thing, is that He loves me so much, that while I’m trying to figure out what He wants me to do, He’s also giving me so many of the things I had wanted before.  One of those things is to finish my college education, which I gave up to get married.  I always used to say to my kids that I might go back to college if I ever decided what I wanted to be when I grew up.  After homeschooling my 4 kids, He gave me a strong desire to become a nurse, and He’s been opening up the doors, allowing me to walk through one step at a time.  I have absolutely no idea where this new road will lead, but I do know I’ll keep following Him wherever He leads.

And so, the road continues to weave its way through my life.  One major decision has led to new decisions, new pathways and byways, and it continues on to the horizon, like the end of the rainbow that is never seen.  Whatever happens, wherever that road leads, I know that He’s in charge.  Though things don’t always go the way I want them to, I trust that He knows what’s best.  And so, when the road ahead looks rocky, and I wonder if the ground is full of sinkholes, I remember what  I know – God is good, all the time, no matter what.